Craigslist is a popular place to post free jobs listings. Sometimes the job titles are pretty weird. Here are some of them for your enjoyment.
experienced bra fitter – I bet they had trouble finding candidates for this one.
PlayStation Brand Ambassador – please report to your residence in the United States of Nintendo.
Eyebrow Threading – I REALLY hope this has something to do with dolls.
Administraive/ Secretary – ok, ok, we get it. It’s clear where you need help.
Finish Carpenter – for when the Start Carpenter gets tired.
Helpdesk Technician @ Pentagon – “Uh, hello? I’m having a problem with this missile…”
Nail Tech – so nails can be pretty complicated…
Remedy Engineer – aren’t those called “doctors”?
Saltlick Cashier – new trend in the equestrian industry. Ok, enough horsing around.
Molecular Biologist II – when Molecular Biologist I gets promoted.
Breakfast Sandwich Maker – we also got one of these recently.
Hotel Housekeepers – why can’t they just say ‘hotelkeepers’?
Preschool Teacher #4065 – either that’s a really big school or they’ve got robot teachers.
glacéau drop team – for a new sport at the Winter Olympics: ice-water spilling.
PLUMMER/ELECTRICIAN – get a dictionary/thesaurus first.
DoodyCalls Technician – they really shouldn’t put down janitors like that.
Golf Staff – and here I thought they were called clubs.
Pressure Washers – what’s next, heat cleaners?
Sandwich Artist – another “Jesus in my food” wannabe.
Self Storage Manager – this is for self storage?
Qualified Infant Caregiver – too bad for all the unqualified caregivers on the list.
Ground Support – but there’s just more dirt under there.
Gymboree Teacher – the hardest part is not burning your hands sliding down the pole.
COMMERCIAL space hunter – so they did find animals further out in the cosmos? Who knew.
JOB COACH – if they’re unemployed when they get to you, what does that say about them?
KIDS KAMP INSTRUCTOR! – no spelling ability required.
POOLS SUPERVISOR – “yeah, they’re still wet…”
HOUSE MANAGER/TEEN SUPERVISOR – see the dictionary under P, for Parent.
Licensed Seamless Gutter Contractor – just sounds bad.
Drive Around Round Rock and get paid!! – seems simple enough.
Landscaping Labor – the new Green Party.
ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER – and you thought only American Idol was manufactured.
Wine & Spirits retail store looking for partime help – maybe they should stop drinking their merchandise first.
Attractive, Busy Professional Seeks Very Attractive Personal Assistant – sounds one-sided to me
The Perfect Nanny Needed – Didn’t Ms. Doubtfire retire when the movie ended?
You might want to work with us forever – depends on your health plan.
I WANT TO HIRE YOU ON AT $500 PER DAY – what happens at the end of that day?
Where Are You? – right here. Where are *you*?
RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE – it’s gonna be a long night for poor Chris.
BURNING BONZAI Server Needed – Bonzai server + matches = voila!
Part Time Dog Walker Needed! – wait, what’s the full-time dog walker doing?
Secret Shoppers Needed In Hollywood Hot Spots ASAP!!!! – oh great. You weren’t supposed to tell anyone!
The easiest “SALES JOB” – EVER GONE FISHING WITH DYNAMITE? – uh, “NO”.
SUPERINTENDED NEEDED – Superintended left already. She had stuff to take care of.
Terramar Walnut Creek Seeks Front of House Manager! – no deal, I can only manage the back of the house.
Part-time Quick Books – last time I checked they were books full-time.
I Wish I Could Hire Everyone – better start looking for a really big office.
Get Paid to Wave and Dance!!!! – This is one job I can do for free!
Wanted: Happy Person – would that be “in your face happy”, “perky happy” or just plain happy?
NATURAL PET STORE – the fake pet store is one street over from there.
We Can’t Afford 8 More Years. Help Elect Democrats in November – talk about a pessimist. They already think that the Democrats will lose again twice more.
Mow our lawn for a date! – Hey boys – ’tis the season for lawn mowing and new love.
Java Googles Upsizing – need Che to sort things out.
Devil hunting/ exorcism bossiness – Economic Upturn for Exorcists!
re-hiring for my entire office – sounds like a plan.
Make Believe Girlfriend – I just want you to make believe you are my girlfriend for a couple of hours maybe once or twice a week. This might include doing real girlfriend stuff. We can talk about it. I am a good white male. – talking about “get a life!”
Gorilla marketer – Part time marketer needed to get the word out on free peer to peer giving site. The position will last approximately a month and pay $550. Duties will include posting free items, seeking out cafes and markets to put up fliers, street stenciling and some blogging. This position is perfect for a college student. Basic requirements are: access to a computer with internet connectivity and ability to network. Please send all resumes ASAP. We will be making a decision quickly. – to do what? Sell food in a zoo?
Dead rat finder and remover – sniff it out?
Writer / End Of The World. I am making a small book and needs fact in regard to End of the world. If you believe that now is the end of the world and you have solid fact I will buy the info from you for $5.00 each fact, For example you can say: According to ABCD- EFG this is the end of the world. I need a total of 200 solid believable facts it equals $1000. I will buy as little as 1 fact for $5.00 All payments are done by paypal.com please do-not email any facts until you have talked to me and you get a confirmation. You can call or email for us to call you back. – I can make a fortune with this guy.
Flawless Business Plan Seeking Teleportation Scientist – Location: Who Cares-you should be here in a second.
Need Someone to Turn Me Into Furniture – I am a submissive white male living in london looking for a female, or couple, of artists who would like the challenge of designing human furniture which is comfortable for the user while objcetifying for the person being used. I would be in the role of furniture model, and could be a footrest, table, chair, etc. I would pay 200 Pounds an hour for this, and am looking for a female or couple which have a dominant personality. There is no nudity or sex involved whatsoever. – chair with benefits.
Horse Killing Summer Job – I’m not sure if this is the real one.
waitress/ barmaid’s wanted no experience needed. Must be 21 years old. apply in person see Les at rumors sports bar and grill in enola along 11 n 15 after 8 p.m. do not reply to this ad via e-mail or your to stupid to work for us – Send them back in e-mail that “you’re too smart” to work for someone who can’t even type a want-ad properly… .